Thank you so much.

That deserves its own line because I can’t thank everyone enough for the support you’ve given both me and this group over the past 2½ years. As I just completed my final course at Carolina last week, I officially became an alum of this comedy group, and it’s a little surreal to step aside.

Before I get too deep into this and everyone stops reading, I just want to say – as Jon Stewart so eloquently put it the other night – “This is only a pause in the conversation.” I’m not done with comedy. Quite the opposite. I’m more inspired than ever, and I’m actually working on a musical comedy album that I hope to put out in the next 6 months. I also Vine frequently (@KenanBateman) if you like 6 second nonsense. Shameless plug! I’d also love if you’d keep up with me and “like” my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/funnykb. I’ll also have my website done soon, which will be at www.kenanbateman.com. I’ve loved getting to know you all, and I’d love for you to keep in touch!

Narcissism complete! On to the heartfelt ish!

…OH WAIT I HAVE A TWITTER…oh yeah…follow that too – @KenanBateman

Now I’m done. I promise.

You never know when it’ll hit you, but I can now pinpoint when it sunk in that I was done with False Profits.

It hit me on April 3rd as I was taking our blue shirt off for the final time. I couldn’t bring myself to untie the tie, so I left it on the shirt. I still haven’t untied it or removed it from the shirt. I probably never will.

I can’t do it because this group means too much to me. This silly little idea Eric and I had two years ago turned into something amazing. When we started, I thought we’d get time at open mics and maybe pull crowds of 40-50 here on campus. I never imagined we’d be blowing the roof off Hanes. Truly every single show I’ve been in has left a special memory for me.

If you’ve ever had thoughts about creating something, do it today. Life’s too short to do something in the future. Do it now, and I promise you won’t regret it. If you love doing something or if you want something to exist that doesn’t, make it exist. Creating this group has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I hope everyone gets an experience like it at some point.

To Our Supporters –

There are no words. Your support has truly humbled me, and I can’t thank you enough. To every single person that came to our shows or hung out with us afterwards, you left an impression on me I’ll never forget. You make all of us feel like rock stars, and I wish I could personally thank all of you.

To the Disciples –

Thank you for being such an awesome group to coach for the past two years. Coaching comedy with both Jordan and Marcie has been an incredible experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Watching y’all grow into the performers you are is the best feeling anyone could have. And getting the privilege to perform with those you’ve coached is an experience second to none. The future of this group is incredibly bright.

To the Profits and Disciples –

Take advantage of this group. I know you’ll hear it a million times, but college flies by. It does. And I’ve realized more and more this past semester what a great resource this group is in making me a better performer. Use it to take risks. Find out what works for you as a performer. If you keep doing the same old, same old, you might miss out on something you love doing and crowds love. This is a great place to experiment with your comedic voice.

I’ll never forget the Monopoly battles, retreat parties, trip to Atlanta, post-show celebrations and so much more. I’m excited to see where the group grows to next.

The Biggest False Profits Fan,
-Ol’ Hoosty